The topic of how to properly greet and send mail to couples, such as "Jane and John Doe" has been discussed many times, such as at the blog post: http://civicrm.org/node/558. But the problem with the approach in the blog ( and included in CiviCRM 3.0 ) Is it requires information about someone's spouse in their contact record and marking half on the contacts "Do not mail" even though there are times when I DO want to communicate with just one spouse or the other for different events.

So I wrote some code that implements a new token called "contact.joint_greeting_casual". The code can be downloaded from jointgreetings.zip. After downloading and unzipping the file, follow the directions for using hooks with Joomla at the CiviCRM wiki.

I have tested my code in CiviCRM 2.2.8 and 3.0.1. I have tested it with both mailing labels and emails.

The logic is as follows:

If there is a spouse relationship defined and both people share a last name
= Jane and John Doe
= John and Jane Doe

If there is a spouse relationship defined and last names are different:
= Jane Smith-Doe and John Doe

If there is a spouse relationship defined and both people share a last name, and one or both have a title:
= Dr. Jane and John Doe
= Dr. John and Judge Jane Doe
= John and Dr. Jane Doe
( This is not 100% compliant with etiquette rules as the person with the title should be listed first and in the case of 2 people with the same title it should be Drs. Jane and John Doe)

If there is a spouse relationship defined and last names are different, and one or both have a title:
= Dr. Jane Smith-Doe and John Doe

If there is a household defined ( but no spouse relationships ) then the oldest 2 people in the household are treated as spouses.

If a women is widowed by a husband ( ie there is a spouse relationship between a woman and a deceased man with a shared last name)
= Mrs. John Doe

If a married person's title in their contact record is a "courtesy" title such as "Mr Ms Miss or Mrs" , then it is ignored.

If a single person ( not a widow) is encountered, then their "Display Name" is used as their greeting.

These formats are based on the rules at: Emily Post. For an interesting discussion for how to address a widow, check Business writing. In summary: how to address a widow: The proper etiquette is to use Mrs. John Smith, not Mrs. Jane Smith. This is because technically, Mrs. Jane Smith indicates a woman who has divorced but kept her husband's last name. Mrs. John Smith indicates a married woman or a widow.
Now, this is a distinction that is fast falling out of usage, so take it with a grain of salt. Sometimes rules change, but there are still older (and generally high-income) women who take this very seriously.

My own mother would have a heart-attack if she were a widow and received formal mail addressed as "Mrs. Sally Smith" as this implies she is divorced. ( The horror! what would the postal carrier think! ). Other women of her age often introduce themselves and sign their letters as Mrs. John Smith.

Also: Special thanks to Donald Lobo for helping me figure out the hooks for tokens.

-Sarah